Friday, September 4, 2015

Have Americans Become Stupid? The Web Thinks So.

By Bruce L. Brager

An article on a web news service says a man has sued McDonald’s for “unreasonably dangerous” materials in a chicken product. Bone fragments certainly qualify as dangerous, but the term “unreasonably dangerous” gets me. I guess there is reasonable danger in what we eat.

 A bartender was shot at in Montana. The reason -- he used Clamato instead of tomato juice in a cocktail. The aggrieved patron killed the bartender’s dog in the incident. He is charged with attempted murder and animal cruelty. The reason the patron gave was that clam juice violated the Jewish laws of kashrut, kosher. Clams are banned for an observant Jew. Murder is also banned, and a lot more prominently -- “Thou shalt not kill.” Change the facts a bit, and you have a country song – he refused my Clamato and then he killed my dog. My sister was on a jury a few month ago, which hinged on a man who lost his girlfriend, and in the resultant fight with the new boyfriend his dog got killed by a car. He stole my woman and then killed my dog. Pity the car was not a pickup truck.

I once got a spam e-mail from a dating service for people seeking to have an affair. I have heard of Ashley Madison. Of course, a whole lot of people now have heard of Ashley Madison. I suppose it is part of the capitalist tradition to try and make money from bad things that people. Something like half of all marriages fall apart, so why not make a few bucks from bad behavior? The country music industry has been doing it for years. I have been a fan of country music for years for the melodies not the subject matter (to paraphrase an old John Anderson song).

A recent web ad promises females over 18 several thousand dollars a week for working as a personal entertainer; professional in public, impressive in private. I am sure the ad is looking for singer-songwriters. Well at least it specifies over 18; not all such ads do. In case you are interested, this was in the writing gigs section, not the full time lady of the evening section. Not the plot of the country song, this ad, more of an episode of Law and Order: SVU. Writers may sometimes feel they are getting screwed, but this is rather different.

“Legal” and “legitimate” appear regularly, usually attached to ways to make a lot of money quickly. Add “trust me” and all but absolute idiots will not trust you. There are ads for handwritten documents, which ask for handwriting samples. Right. Send a sample of your handwriting to a reply box. Be sure to include your social security number and a few passwords. For those who say that people are not stupid, see the last paragraph.

There has been this person in Yonkers, advertising on a web site for young people to handwrite stories, or film him exercising, or watch him present a play for teenagers. He always asks for the applicant’s age. He (I suppose this could be a she) got flagged and the ad taken down.

Finally, there is the swingers club in Nashville that wants to reclassify itself as a church so it can move to the suburbs. No this is not a country song, though it might make a good one. One suspects there is a fair amount of laying on of hands, and shouting “praise the Lord” going on.


All opinion pieces reflect solely the views of the writer(s) and do not reflect the opinions or views of CAB News Online.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

The Local Nightmare May Be at an End

By Bruce L. Brager

Needs no caption.
Credit: Bruce L. Brager
New York can really be a fun city, as they used to say. Not just the stock market, the Wall Street roller coaster. But at least this time they have been panicking, and then changing their mind about the panic, over the huge Chinese economy, not the tiny Greek economy. But Wall Street is more a national than a state issue.

New York City has its problems. Poverty and crime are problems, though less than in most other major American cities. The city needs more jobs, though unemployment has greatly decreased since the Great Recession. There too many guns in the streets, but this is true of everywhere in this gun-fetishist society. New York has one of the better gun control policies in the country. We don’t have open carry, stand your ground, or anything like that belonging more in the TV version of the Wild West. But a New Yorker who wants a gun just needs a few hours’ drive to get one.

The city still needs affordable housing, despite having lost the most expensive area title to Washington, DC. But local real estate developers prefer to build condos for billionaires and a huge Ferris wheel in Staten Island. Let’s just hope the builders don’t get legionnaires disease.

A beautiful park in north Staten Island, with a great view of the Manhattan
Skyline, is being converted into an outlet mall and a giant ferris wheel.
Credit: Bruce L. Brager
The relationship between the NYPD and the Black community is worse than it has been for years. New York City traffic remains New York City traffic.

So what is the big issue in New York City recently? Times Square. Some attractive young women have taken to soliciting tourists to take picture with them. The women are wearing just bikini bottoms and body paint. Horrors. The mayor is very upset. The governor says it reminds him of the bad old days in Time Square. The police commissioner wants to tear up the new pedestrian areas to get rid of the area where these immoral women play their trade. Others want the law that allows women, as well as men to go topless in public in New York City, changed.

On a related issue, a new law has been introduced in the New York State legislature to ban the sale of sugar soda to kids under 16. The nightmare is almost over. We will soon end the horror of kids getting wired with sugar staring at half-naked women. And here I was worried about freedom of choice, gun control, the economy, crime, disease, etc. etc. etc. This is not an endorsement of kids drinking sugar, just so you readers know.

I am just glad we don’t have any statues of Confederate soldiers (as far as I know). I can’t recall seeing a Confederate flag regularly flown – at least not in Upper East Side Manhattan. There has been no having to make martyrs to the First Amendment out of idiots.

All opinion pieces reflect solely the views of the writer(s) and do not reflect the opinions or views of CAB News Online.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

OPINION: Getting Old is not the Worse Alternative

By Bruce L. Brager


When you reach a certain point in life (e.g., at least somewhat old), you begin to look at things differently, or at least somewhat differently. Maybe, with luck, you bring a sense of humor as well as a sense of honest realism. I did not stop growing when I was fourteen. I stopped getting taller. Alas, I kept growing.

You are faced with a different reason for things that might go wrong. Back pain can no longer be explained by helping a friend move a piano. Shoulder pain is no longer throwing too many sliders – or is that wrist pain? I forgot. A torn rotator cuff is not what derailed my major league pitching career. It was not just the lack of even a hint of athletic ability. Knee pain is not an old football injury – American football or soccer, take your pick. The meniscus in my dominant knee did not tear on a Super Bowl winning touchdown run. Would you believe it was saving the game by robbing the opposition of a “walk off” home run?

I am no longer prematurely balding, and not because my hair grew back. Captain Picard becomes more and more good-looking in my eyes. When I get sloppy and skip shaving for a while, I look like a famous figure from history. General Robert E. Lee would not be my first choice to resemble, though I suppose if I don’t try to lay off the fresh ground peanut butter, it beats looking like Santa Claus.

I recently had cataract surgery. Though it beats glaucoma by a mile, it does seem like old guy surgery. To show that my sense of humor – a more and more useful tool – is not dead, I found myself appreciating the irony of my second eye problem, strabismus, (crossed eyes) which rhymes with meniscus. (Are those things in the back, which cause the pain, called “discus”?) This problem usually plagues little children.

An adult pain followed. I tried to get the insurance company to pay for glasses, though without success when I didn’t follow their exact claims procedures – primarily the sin of going to an optician I trust rather than one in their “network.” I feel so ashamed. Actually the insurance company paid most of the other medical expenses for my eyes, so complaining is unfair. But, then again, self-centered complaining is the American way.

When I met with someone from this company to see about transferring from my Obamacare plan to a Medicare supplement plan, I went to a nearby hospital to meet with a representative. While I was waiting I noticed a sign a few offices down, “geriatric outpatient services.” That would be me.
My latest age culture shock occurred with the last few days. I went for a walk on an exceedingly hot day in New York. I walked up 70th street to get the walk along the East River, instead of 71st. Rather than totally backtrack, I cut through the covered entrance of the David M. Koch entrance to the Hospital for Special Surgery. (Apparently the Koch brothers use money for things other than buying elections.) This hospital, world famous for orthopedics, was founded in 1863 as The Hospital for the Relief of the Ruptured and Crippled. The first patients were admitted on May 1, 1863, the first day of the American Civil War Battle of Chancellorsville.


They have a current ad campaign showing how active one can be after surgery. One shows an attractive woman, 40-something, jogging along a beautifully scenic ocean front route, 84 days after meniscus surgery. Does this mean if I have knee surgery I can jog with an attractive woman in a beautiful area, or become a successful jazz drummer, or a champion water skier? Doctor, after surgery will I be able to play the violin? Of course. Funny, I can’t play the violin now.

When push comes to shove, I try to remember the words of a 93 year old woman on a promo for a local hospital, “Don’t complain about being old. If you are not old, you are dead.”





All opinion pieces reflect solely the views of the writer(s) and do not reflect the opinions or views of CAB News Online.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

OPINION: Cowboy Diplomacy

By Bruce L. Brager

In these days of same old stupidity coming out of Washington, one newly elected Republican senator has come up with a new wrinkle. Tom Cotton, the junior senator from Arkansas, has managed to set himself apart from the drastically unimpressive group of Republicans elected in the Democratic disaster of 2014.

This group includes the gentleman from North Carolina, Senator Thom Tillis. He has called for eliminating the federal regulation that requires restaurant workers to wash their hands after using the bathroom. He would replace this with a regulation stating that the food service institution would have to post a sign stating that they were not requiring hand washing. Even if you favor decreasing regulations, I’ll bet you are wondering why replace a health regulation with another less useful regulation.

This group also includes Senator Joni Ernst, the gentlewoman from Iowa. She thinks states should be allowed to nullify federal laws they don’t like, particularly, what else from a Republican, gun control laws. I’ll bet you thought nullification went out the window in 1832, when Andrew Jackson made South Carolina back down – over a tariff, not over slavery – not to mention the Supremacy Clause of the Constitution. She is currently a Lieutenant Colonel in the Iowa National Guard, presumably someone who understands chain of command and the proper role of the branches of the federal government. The President conducts foreign policy, and has since the days of George Washington. The Congress has a role to play, starting with paying for the foreign policy. Individual senators do not, outside of legitimate commentary and debate. There actually are other parts of the Constitution, aside from the second part of the Second Amendment on the right to bear arms.

Both these folks were among the 47 Republican senators who signed the recent – and briefly, with the short American attention span — infamous letter to the Iranian government. These 47 bright bulbs thought it a good idea to publically tell an adversary not to trust the President of the United States during critical negotiations. Years from now historians will wonder “What were they thinking?” “Were they even thinking?” Substantively, the letter was a mistake. Tactically, it was a great mistake.

Opponents of negotiations have argued that the Iranians cannot be trusted; not an illogical conclusion. But let the Iranians brand themselves as the untrustworthy party. Let them do your work for you. This idiot letter, for want of a better term, Senator Cotton’s brilliant idea, takes the onus for lack of trust from the Iranian government and religious leaders, and puts it on us. Normally, when Tehran says it is sunny out most people want to carry umbrellas. However, this genius letter reverses the equation. It increases the chance that we will be held responsible for failure, not the Iranians.

Eventually we may have to take military action against Iran. But the realities of today’s world make it necessary to take preliminary steps before resorting to war. Morally, war should never be the first option. Politically, baring the immediate threat of attack, war cannot be the first option. These 47 have damaged the pre-war options, damaged the chance to avoid war, and made it harder to make the case before, or after, if military action is necessary.

So what should Democrats do? First of all, don’t throw around the term “treason” like some news media. Anger at the letter is justified, anger at Senators trying to cut off the President in a delicate moment of foreign policy. Remember not to attribute to malevolence what can be explained by politically motivated stupidity and an obsessive dislike of a president. The law against private citizens conducting diplomacy would be confusing to apply. Did the Senators, 47 individuals as opposed to the Senate as a whole, try to conduct foreign policy? Are they so intent on destroying the Obama presidency that nothing stands in their way, even engaging in cowboy diplomacy (I apologize to the hard-working cowboys) seemingly designed to wreck an American, and allied, diplomatic effort? Or, did they just pick a very bad way, a virtually unique bad way, of debating policy? Don’t get them any sympathy by prosecution, but don’t let voters forget their action.

The simple part is to make sure the public does not forget the blunder, what we might call “lettergate.” Let their actions be the best argument against them, the best political message, and the best proof of how far so many Republicans are willing to go for political advantage at the expense of the national interest. But that is the easy part.

The hard part is to come up with a verifiable agreement with the Iranians; hard enough without sending in the clowns. The agreement must decrease the chance the Iranians can cheat, ensure that they will be caught if they cheat, and ensure they will pay a severe price for any cheating.

The bizarre action of the senators should not be a reason to back a bad deal. Remember the lesson of TV mysteries — you set up someone else to take a fall, not yourself.




All opinion pieces reflect solely the views of the writer(s) and do not reflect the opinions or views of CAB News Online.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

OPINION: American Energy Policy – Déjà Vu All over Again

By Bruce L. Brager

The decline in oil prices is an interesting sensation. However, we are seeing the same mistakes in the current energy policy debate as in the debates three decades ago – the same mistakes, and the same shorted-sighted, politically motivated, arguments being thrown about. Damn the complex reality, full speed ahead.  Déjà vu all over again.

The best known examples of the energy debate today are the Keystone Pipeline and fracking. I love hearing all the conservatives, normally appalled at government “make work” programs, stressing the job creating aspects of the pipeline. They conveniently forget any potential environmental problems.  Opponents stress only the environmental issues, and the fact that some of the Canadian oil may be sent overseas – though this has always been uncertain – limiting the payoff for the risk. They conveniently forget the continuing national security need for energy sources as close to home as possible. They also forget the complexity of the oil trade; that Keystone oil may stay home as well as be sent abroad.

Fracking engenders continuing debate, but the opponents focus on its environmental problems.  Both sides calls for “yes or no,” spending far too little time on seeing what the problems are and how they might be fixed.  How can fracking be made safer?  Can any environmental danger from the Keystone pipeline be decreased?  This was done with the then – the controversial Alaska pipeline.  We stopped shouting and looked for a way to solve a problem.

Debating whether something should be done is the American way.  Looking for how something can best be done is also the American way.  Neglecting the how, in the search for simple answers, is part of the déjà vu I am feeling.

Thirty years ago, during the Arab oil boycotts, “experts” said it would take several decades for alternative fuels to meet a substantial part of American energy needs.  So I guess we don’t have to worry about fracking starting earth quakes and the Canadians can ship their own dirty oil through their own country?  Use of alternative is growing, however, though far slower than it should be growing.  Nuclear energy is staging a mild comeback – both mild and comeback are good in this case.

One problem in American energy policy has been in assuming that the private sector is always best at determining energy needs, rather than just usually best at meeting these needs.  This is the most familiar part of déjà vu all over again.  Oil prices have been cut in half recently. And we are already relaxing our energy development efforts.  We should be using some of the energy cost savings to speed up research into alternatives, into making fracking safer, into seeing if we can answer the arguments against the Keystone Pipeline.

Energy companies with an eye to the future, and to future long term profits, should be in the forefront of these efforts – not doing their best to sabotage the growing use of solar panels. And if they do not want to, perhaps because they don’t want it to affect their stock price tomorrow – legitimate, if short-sighted business decisions – let the government do it.  More efforts should be made to use the probably brief breathing spell to prepare for the inevitable, and probably short term, future. Basically, oil prices are going back up. The question is when.

Back in the day, American energy policy reminded me of a classic horror film.  It still does. The monster had ravaged the village but it was chased off.  Things were peaceful again.  But the monster had not been destroyed.  The monster was coming again.  The villagers had to listen to the voices saying to get ready.  We need President Obama, who tends to act well when he acts, to use his rhetorical skills to make the case that the energy monster still lives.  We need Congressional Republicans to lay off their social agenda, to lay off trying to make the President look bad, and at least consider long term energy development actions.

The energy monster is not dead.  It is just sleeping, and it is coming back.

All opinion pieces reflect solely the views of the writer(s) and do not reflect the opinions or views of CAB News Online.